thank you, nowhere

[ prize ]

i guess that today
just didn't go my way
and i was a fool to think that
it would go otherwise
that your intentions
were anything more than making me the one
to get you closer to the
prize you seek
and it's not me

but maybe i'm relying too much
on these silly schemes
and maybe i'm just putting too much
stock in my own dreams
and maybe it's about time
i realized not everyone is on my side

when you look at me
am i who you see?
or am i just another
convenient coincidence?
graciousness ensues
even though i feel so used
and i just hope that my soul
doesn't show the dents

but maybe i'm relying too much
on these silly schemes
and maybe i'm just putting too much
stock in my own dreams
and maybe it's about time
i realized not everyone is on my side

and i know i'm making
something big out of something small
and i know it will
eventually lead to my downfall
but it just feels so wrong
and i'm not going to be your pawn
this time

but maybe i'm relying too much
on these silly schemes
and maybe i'm just putting too much
stock in my own dreams
and maybe it's about time
i realized not everyone is on my side

[ early 2001 ]

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